I have always been a feminine girl. My behavior, on many occasions, may not have been feminine-like, due to my surroundings and circumstances, but truly, I have always been a feminine girl.
I believe I started my feminine journey by caring about my appearance as a young girl. As a tween and teenager make-up, clothes, and hair was everything. In college I went through a stage (new wave) but that was a defense mechanism. I wanted people to think of me as weird to be left alone. That whole thing stemmed from being questioned and disliked because of my femininity. I came back to myself in my early twenties while in the Congo as a Peace Corps Volunteer. My Peace Corps group was all about roughing it in appearance. The Africans I met took pride in their appearance. In the small villages, people lived in mud huts (so did I) and considered their everyday grooming to be serious.
I liked that.
When I returned to the United States it was a great pleasure to upgrade my appearance with a pixie haircut, business clothes for my new job, casual clothes for the weekend, make up of various colors, the pump was my shoe, and a new attitude, which was my old attitude, reinstated.
As time went on, I realized as a single feminine woman, I had to make additional changes. I never hung-out on the Boulevard but made certain I only went to the stores on the Boulevard when needed and left. I stopped eating in fast food places and being in areas that did not support my feminine lifestyle. I surrounded myself with people who were brilliant, educated, and cultured. I went to jazz clubs, operas, and classical music concerts. By experiencing these activities my masculine energy was not used. I stayed in my feminine energy because those atmospheres allowed me to do so.
Some people did consider me as a threat and I believe I lost a few jobs because of my femininity. However, I stayed true to my lifestyle because my lifestyle is who I am. What I did change was working in “at will” positions that provided no job security.
A clean and organized home, office, and car helps me focus better and a clean and organized home, office, and car is part of a feminine lifestyle. I also improved my cooking skills and signed-up for an etiquette class to learn how to set a formal table, an informal table, and improve my mannerisms and wardrobe.
My most wonderful feminine lifestyle activity was competing in and judging beauty pageants. At 40 I entered my first beauty pageant. I had the time of my life. Heavily involved in pageantry for five years allowed me to win state and national beauty pageant titles. Pageantry enhanced my feminine skills at being delicate and formal, but before pageantry, I trained as a classical dancer for most of my life.
A key component to femininity is always looking presentable and your best. I always said my skin care routine was a part-time job. When younger controlling my acne was everything. I was mindful of cleansing my skin properly, the food and drink I consumed, exercising, products I used, dermatologist appointments, and medications prescribed. My goodness. In the long run all the work put in benefited me tremendously because I aged well.
A feminine woman cares about family, friends, and the community. Maintaining relationships with family, checking in on friends, and serving the community with pride, making people feel special, is extremely important and a major role as a feminine woman.
Just because I competed in pageants, studied dance, wear make-up, look soft, behave accordingly, serve the community on my own and with my sorors of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc., doesn’t mean I turn the other cheek and allow people to take advantage of me. A feminine woman knows how to match energy. I mentioned this before on my blog, and I am mentioning it again, I am not afraid to cut people off. Nor will you see me over dressed or under dressed for an occasion. I match the energy I am in.
Writing this blog post has brought me great joy. The feminine lifestyle is not easy. However it is fulfilling and brings about accomplishment. My posts are all designed to support femininity, for those born a woman, or not.
What have you experienced while living a feminine lifestyle?
