Hey There

Honestly, I am not entirely certain why I closed my blog, PermedtoNatural.com, and then opened, PermedtoNatural.blog, with a new host, domain extension, subtitle, focus, and design. All I can say is the entire quarantining thing affected me in several ways. I put on; I don’t know how many pounds, which caused me to temporarily lose my mind.

I like to share so I had to continue blogging. The purpose of sharing is to help someone else. Sharing is also a form of healing. Therefore, always speak your truth, even if your voice shakes. When younger speaking my truth was very beneficial. I got better with age, and it became very healing.

My natural kinky nappy curls are still on my head. I still wear braids most of the time because of the dry climate in New Mexico. I moisturize my braids (and scalp) every morning with a leave-in conditioner, hair grease, and hair oil. I am often fearful one of my braids will completely dry up, fall out, and tumble to the floor. I know that is a bit dramatic but it’s how my hair feels.

I am more than pleased there are now several vegan makeup brands that provide the right color for my skin tone and deeper. Once Fenty Beauty launched its many shades, other cosmetic companies followed. But I always wonder what took them so long?

I like being a woman. I might as well. I have no other choice. Well… maybe… but anyway, I like being a woman. In my early years, I was confused about femininity. Femininity was thinking you are cute, and in my environment, that was negative. Femininity was making yourself presentable on all levels, and at my schools, that was negative. I thought femininity meant depending on someone else for survival only to be controlled and disrespected. I thought femininity meant hairstyles, makeup, nail polish, eyelashes, perfume, facials, and pastel dresses. To me, femininity is hairstyles, makeup, nail polish, eyelashes, perfume, facials, and pastel dresses. Femininity is receiving, relaxing, soft, classy, smart, educated, with a successful career. Femininity is also matching-up with an Alpha man who knows how to provide and lead, and (if he is worth it) if you feel he is leading you in the wrong direction, that direction can change by using your feminine power; then, let him think the real change was his idea.

Many years ago, a male friend told me Black men favored women outside of their race because they were softer and more feminine than Black women. That is what he said. I just listened. He also said he understood why Black women appeared to be less feminine. Many ran the house by themselves. Many paid the bills by themselves. Many raised the kids by themselves. Many walked the streets by themselves, and while doing so, they could not appear to be soft and dainty in the process because of male predators. But, he concluded, even though he understood why Black women appeared less feminine, he still preferred a feminine woman by appearance and personality.

As a 55-year-old wife, vegan, HBCU grad, beauty queen, classically trained dancer, peace corps volunteer, public speaker, sorority girl, lover of makeup and glamour, publicist, and event planner, I plan to share my feminine experiences, as well as others, with hopes to highlight, that, it is okay to be feminine. It is actually very beautiful.

While growing up were you cautious about expressing your femininity? If so why? Women and men feel free to participate.