What Would I Tell My Younger Self?

I have often seen articles titled “What Would I Tell My Younger Self?” on various news outlets. I never addressed this topic because I didn’t know what to say to my twenty-two-year-old self, or fifteen-year-old self, or thirty-four-year-old self until now, and even now, at fifty-five, I am a little tongue-tied but feel it is essential to share my warnings and encouragements to all who want to listen. 

So, what would I tell my younger self? Below are just a few topics I would say, and I hope it helps you too along the way.

Be a Feminine Girl

Being a feminine girl made you feel good about being a girl. Practice that characteristic and perfect it. Instead of ignoring those jealous nay-sayers who made sassy comments about being feminine, talk to them about their ideas of femininity. I bet you all will better understand each other, and if you have to take Kung-Fu lessons in the meantime, then so be it. 😊

Ravel in Your Beauty

There are natural skincare techniques that you can apply to give your skin a healthy glow. Having oily skin is a true blessing. You’ll see. Let go of the stresses of maintaining the oils. It will pay off. You will forever look young. There is nothing wrong with wearing stylish cornrows. Your hair likes to be braided. Stay away from harsh chemicals and sustain your natural hair. Your curly naps aren’t as thick as you think, aren’t as kinky as you think, and products possessing ingredients you can’t pronounce aren’t as good for you as you think. Forget about all of the permed hairstyles in the magazines. Your natural hair texture is the best option for you.

Leave Him Alone

Just kidding. No, I’m not. Leave him alone. Don’t allow insecurities obtained from gossip regarding your single life get to you because you seem to be the only single person in your social group. When you are comfortable with having a boyfriend, don’t allow judgment from others influence your choice because you decided to date outside of your race.

No More Multiple Chances

Sometimes it is not worth keeping people in your life who clearly display disrespectful and harmful behaviors towards you. Learn to drop people with no warning but do it gracefully. Do not accept them back into your life, the way it was, even with multiple apologies. This may sound harsh, but know, it will be worth it.

The Only One

You are not the only person going through things. People don’t like to talk about their stuff. So do find support and connect with others for help and healing.

Keep That Passport

Travel abroad more than you did. Don’t worry about returning to America to find that great corporate job before you are thirty. Enlist a third year with the United States Peace Corps and then travel the world for a year or two after that.

Relocate

After relocating to Los Angeles, from New York, stay in Los Angeles.

Spirituality

Practice a spiritual belief that makes you feel comfortable. You can work with your higher power any way you want to, and if you are judged, do not be afraid to drop people with no warning, but, do it gracefully.

Higher Education

Get that Master’s degree in a subject you are passionate about. Forget what others say you should do to get paid. Get a degree in a topic you love and know success and money will come.

Calm Down

Try not to be too excited about things. Have some mystery about yourself. Show enthusiasm but do not show people how much you really care too quickly. They will use your own emotions against you.

Let Go

Let go of reflecting too much on how others have hurt you. Feel your feelings, and know them well, but let them slip away, and move on.

You Don’t Have to Forgive

If you are not comfortable forgiving someone for the harm they caused, do not do it. Don’t force forgiveness because everyone told you this is an immediate thing to do. It is unnatural, it doesn’t feel authentic, and it will not help you. When you are ready to forgive then do it. You will feel much better. However, do not consume yourself for years with what someone did to you. Like I said above, let it slip away, and move on.

Be Grateful

Recognize your blessings and be grateful. You are many things wonderful. Everyone else knows this and you should too.

The Best Years

You are living the best years of your life right now so enjoy it.

What are some things you would tell your younger self today?